A Lenten Activity for Children: Burying Seeds and (More on) Talking about Death with Children

A typical morning of play

Some people are clean-house people. Some people are not. We are definitely in this second category. I know lots of parents who don't let their kids play with play dough in the house, or paint with finger paints, or eat tomato sauce on their pasta, etc., etc. And I totally respect the clean houses and clean clothes that result from these types of house rules. However, this is just not how our household runs. 

To begin with, Dominic has the disposition of an artist and the mind of an entrepreneur, and his greatest intellectual strength is in the area of novel ideas and creative solutions. But this also means he is super absentminded. He loses his keys and phone and wallet constantly. He can never find his socks or that particular article of clothing he wants to wear. He forgets to unlock the doorknob of the backdoor when he steps outside and ends up locking himself out constantly. Other times he leaves the house and doesn't even remember to close the door behind him. (Fortunately, Solomon demands everything be in its place, and open doors are his biggest pet peeve, so he's always there to help! Now if only he would let me keep the dishwasher door open long enough to load the dirty dishes!!!) 

On top of this, Josephine has the intensity of 1000 children. Within five minutes of being awake, she's dressed in a princess dress, complete with crown, ring, and purse; has more or less emptied the entire toy box; and is elbow-deep in crayons and markers and any other crafty project I will allow. 

Between these two, our house doesn't stand a chance. And so I have come to live with a certain amount of clutter on the counters and crumbs on the floor, and, at least for this season in our life, I am (mostly) okay with it. 

Almost as much grass seed as dirt :)

So if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right?? That's why I allow my kids to help plant grass (and garden!) seeds in the house. If you live somewhere warmer than Michigan (or if you luck out and get a warm late-winter/early-spring day), you could avoid the mess and do this activity outside. But this is the time of Lent to plant some seeds, whether indoor or out! (Depending on what you're planting and how warm and wet you keep it, plan for 7-14 days for seedlings to sprout after planting. But if you get started late, you can always use a gardening heating pad; with a heating pad, our grass seeds sprouted in just 4 days!)

Not only do the kids love this activity—a bag of grass seed and a container of dirt offer great sensory experiences for young and old alike!—it is a time to talk about how we "bury" seeds in the ground, just as Jesus' body was buried in the tomb; and when it is buried, a seed will eventually produce the new life of a seedling, just as Christ's death led to his resurrection. Your conversation can unfold from there in tons of different directions, depending on your kids' age and interest. This year, we had two main discussion topics related to this activity.

First, we talked about why Jesus had to die and be buried before he could be raised to eternal life. In the Gospel of John, Jesus predicts that his death is near, and he says, "Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains a single seed; but if it dies, it bears much fruit" (John 12:24). What Jesus is saying is that he is like a seed that was sown into the ground in his death and burial; and when he was resurrected to new life, it was not only he who had a new resurrection body that would live forever, but the fruit of his new life is plentiful—it produces eternal life for many, including us. 

As I mentioned in a previous post, death is a topic that comes up often in our home. And for me, it's easy to focus on the anxieties and even dread that we sometimes feel when we think about our own death. But I also try to make sure to talk with my kids about the hope that we have in death, and even how we can eagerly anticipate our passage through death into Christ's very presence. Death is something we can be uncertain about, but we cling to what the Apostle Paul says when he wrote that when we die, our death is swallowed up in the victory of our resurrection to eternal life with Christ. And so facing death loses its sting (1 Cor. 15:55). And that's why, at least in part, we can look forward to our own death, because through it we are raised to eternal life with Christ.

Now this is admittedly a tough sell with kids, who want to keep playing and eating and learning new things, but this is actually a good thing, I think. There is always a small part of me that worries that, if I over-teach the joys that follow from death, my kids will start taking unnecessary risks just so they can have that joy now. So I proceed with caution when teaching about the joy of death, and try instead to use it as a means of comfort for fears rather than a daily goal toward which we are striving. Better the smaller daily goals of children: learning to jump and hop, to listen and share, to read and write and create amazing kid-art.

Grass seedlings!

The second discussion topic we had this year was about how difficult it is to wait for resurrection. We talked about how hard it is to wait in general (and we read Waiting by Kevin Henkes and Waiting Is Not Easy by Mo Willems). We talked about waiting for the seeds to come up (and we read the Frog and Toad story "The Garden" from Frog and Toad Together, which is my absolute favorite among Frog and Toad stories; and also "Spring" in Frog and Toad Are Friends). We talked about how hard it will be to wait for Easter morning after we celebrate Christ's death and burial on Good Friday, and about the darkness and dead silence of Holy Saturday. We talked about how sad it is when we lose a loved one and have to wait to meet them in the resurrected life; we talked about grief and the sad feelings we feel when someone dies.

And that, by the way, is why I think Jesus, even after predicting several times that he would raise Lazarus from the dead, nevertheless wept when he finally came to the place of Lazarus's burial (John 11:1-44). And this is why Christians must cling to the hope of resurrection, but nevertheless have full and unbridled permission to grieve and weep in the face of death. After all, Jesus—who knew not only the promise of the resurrection but had the power of resurrection—nevertheless broke down in grief at the tomb of his beloved friend Lazarus.)

So bury some seeds, and make a bit of a mess if you can stand it. And talk about Christ's burial. Talk about waiting. And eagerly anticipate the resurrection of the dead.

Giotto, The Raising of Lazarus (Padua, Italy; A.D. 1304–1306)